The Prince and the Peanut – A Hilarious Retelling of a Royal Test

Once upon a time, in a grand and illustrious kingdom, there lived a King and Queen who adored their daughter, Princess Hermione. She was as clever as she was beautiful, but she was also famously particular. From the moment she could speak, Hermione demanded only the finest of things—be it silk dresses, diamond tiaras, or gourmet chocolates. She was not unkind, but her standards were exceptionally high.

Naturally, when it came time for her to marry, the Princess declared one very specific condition:
“He must be a real prince. Not just by name or title, but in heart, sensitivity, and refinement.”

The King sighed deeply, hoping that finding such a man would be quicker than sourcing the last tiara Hermione had demanded from a jeweler in the farthest corner of the realm. Yet, the search was anything but swift. Hermione traveled across kingdoms, visiting every grand palace, every noble family estate, even the occasional enchanted tower, but no one seemed to meet her discerning standards.

She met many men—some handsome, others wise, some charming, and others gifted in music or poetry. Yet, each time she found herself wondering, “But is he truly a prince?”

Disheartened, she even resorted to reading lonely hearts columns, consulting royal matchmakers, and, rather reluctantly, creating an account on the Royal Realm’s version of Tinder. But still, no luck.

Then, on one tempestuous night, as rain lashed against the castle walls and thunder shook the chandeliers, a mysterious figure appeared on the castle’s gate intercom. Thanks to the castle’s enchanted CCTV, the Queen spotted a cloaked young man battling his way through the storm.

Though the servants were too frightened to answer the door, the Queen herself braved the gale and opened it. Standing before her, soaked but dignified, was a strikingly handsome young man.

“Your Majesty,” he said, bowing, “I am a real prince. Might I seek shelter by your fire?”

The Queen, ever suspicious but curious, led him into the warm parlour where Princess Hermione and the King were playing cards. The moment Hermione set eyes on the prince, her heart fluttered. His manners were impeccable, his voice velvety, and his eyes held the glimmer of gentle nobility. But the Queen needed proof—something undeniable to confirm his claim.

She devised a clever test. Instead of the traditional pea, she decided to use something even more telling—a dry roasted peanut.

That night, while the prince changed into dry clothes, the Queen herself sneaked into the guest chamber. She placed a single dry roasted peanut at the very bottom of the bed. Then, she ordered the servants to stack mattress after mattress atop the peanut, creating a towering bed that required a ladder to climb.

When the prince was shown to his quarters, he blinked at the massive structure but said nothing. He climbed the ladder gracefully and tucked himself under the plush covers.

“Sleep well, dear guest,” the Queen said with a knowing smile before retiring for the night.

Come morning, the Queen eagerly returned to the room. To her surprise, the mattresses were scattered everywhere, and the prince stood bleary-eyed, his hair tousled but still regal.

“How did you sleep, Your Highness?” the Queen asked, barely containing her anticipation.

“Terribly!” he replied. “I was tormented all night by a most uncomfortable lump in the bed. I tried removing mattress after mattress to identify the cause, hoping at least for a soft almond or perhaps a pistachio to snack on. Alas, I found nothing but a dry roasted peanut!” He shuddered. “Such a vulgar snack, utterly unfit for a discerning palate.”

The Queen’s eyes twinkled with satisfaction. Only a real prince would be so sensitive as to feel a peanut beneath countless mattresses—and be discerning enough to reject it as an inadequate snack!

The Queen relayed the test results to the Princess, who was overjoyed. Here, at last, was a man with taste as refined as hers.

The King, relieved that the search was over, immediately declared that the two should marry. The wedding was a grand affair, with festivities that lasted a full week. Trumpets sounded, banquets overflowed, and every kingdom near and far sent gifts and blessings.

As for the infamous peanut? It was preserved in a glass case and displayed in the Royal Museum of Curiosities. Visitors came from all over the land to marvel at the tiny peanut that had proven the nobility of a prince—and the peculiar fussiness of royalty.

And so, Princess Hermione and her sensitive prince lived happily ever after, sharing not just love, but a mutual disdain for inferior snacks.

Moral of the Story:

True nobility isn’t just in titles but in the delicate sensitivity of heart and soul. Even the smallest things can reveal a person’s true nature—so pay attention to the peanuts in life.