Snow Black: A Hilarious Twist on a Classic Fairy Tale

Twice upon a time, in a land not too far from here, a gentle queen wished for a daughter with all her heart. Her wish was granted, and she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with skin as dark as the starless night sky. The queen and the king, who were as fair as moonlight, loved their child deeply, hoping the world would see her not for her skin, but for the radiant light of her spirit.

Yet happiness is fragile. The queen passed away soon after childbirth, leaving the king in a hollow loneliness that neither his riches nor his crown could fill. In a decision that shocked the kingdom, the king chose to marry again, but not to a woman. He married a man, declaring, “My heart belongs to me, and love is love. It harms no one, and it is 1420, sweeties. It’s time the world accepts love in all its forms.”

But the king’s new partner was not the man of kindness he had hoped for. Behind the smiles, the new king practiced dark magic and whispered to a mirror that answered his every question with eerie honesty. When he asked, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the darkest of them all?” the mirror always replied, “You, Your Majesty.”

Until one day.

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the darkest of them all?” he hissed, expecting the usual praise.

“You are dark, Your Majesty, but Snow Black is darker than you,” the mirror replied.

Fury twisted the king’s features. He could not bear that anyone could be “darker” than him, for he equated darkness with power and fear. Enraged, he ordered his huntsman to find Snow Black and bring back her heart.

The huntsman tracked Snow Black, who had grown into a bright, brave young woman who loved the woods and all creatures within it. But as he lifted his blade, he saw her innocence and beauty and could not strike. “Run, child. Live,” he whispered, leaving her in the forest as he returned empty-handed.

Snow Black wandered until she found a massive house, curious and tired. She stepped inside, unaware that it belonged to seven kind-hearted giants.

The giants, returning from their hunt for gold, discovered the intruder:

“Who’s sat in my chair?”
“Who’s eaten from my plate?”
“Who’s used my cup?”
“Who’s lit the candles?”
“Who’s taken my bread?”
“Who’s stolen my chocolate cake?”

And the seventh giant, staring at his bed, murmured, “Who is this beautiful girl?”

They found Snow Black asleep and were so moved by her peaceful face that they let her stay. When she awoke, startled by the towering giants, they calmed her. She shared her story, and the giants, seeing her innocence, allowed her to live with them, asking only that she care for their home while they worked.

They became an odd but loving family, Snow Black and her seven giant protectors, living in a rhythm of cleaning, gold hunting, and laughter.

But the evil king had not forgotten Snow Black. Disguised as a frail old man, he knocked on the door with a poisoned apple. “Just a gift, dear girl,” he crooned.

Snow Black, hesitant but polite, took the apple. The moment she held it to her lips, she collapsed, the poisoned fruit slipping from her fingers.

When the giants returned, they found her lifeless on the floor, the apple at her side. They wept for days, unable to bury her, for even in “death,” she looked as alive as dawn.

Days later, a young prince arrived, captivated by the beauty and peacefulness of the girl in the glass coffin. He pleaded with the giants, “Please, let me take her. I promise to honor and protect her always.”

The giants, seeing the sincerity in his eyes, allowed him to lift the coffin. As he leaned forward to kiss Snow Black’s cold lips, her eyes suddenly fluttered open.

“Um, excuse me? What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, blinking.

The giants and the prince gasped. Snow Black sat up, rubbing her head. “I wasn’t dead. That old man’s breath was so foul I passed out,” she explained, tossing the poisoned apple away.

The prince, blushing, stammered, “I—I just wanted to save you.”

“Next time, maybe ask before you kiss a girl who’s passed out, handsome,” Snow Black teased.

Despite the rocky start, the prince visited Snow Black every day, showing her kindness and respect, never caring about her dark skin, seeing only her laughter and courage. Slowly, Snow Black realized she liked the prince’s gentle persistence and open mind.

Eventually, Snow Black and the prince fell in love. Their wedding was held in a grand castle, a celebration of love that saw all colors, genders, and differences. The evil king, upon seeing Snow Black alive and happy, erupted into madness and was exiled, never to harm the kingdom again.

And so, Snow Black and her prince, with the seven giants by their side, lived happily ever after, proving that love sees no color and that kindness is the truest power of all.

Moral:
Love knows no boundaries of color, gender, or appearance. The beauty of the heart is what truly matters, and the world becomes brighter when we choose kindness over prejudice.