Mittamitta Jataka: Recognizing True Friends and Foes

In the Mittamitta Jataka, the Bodhisatta, in a previous life, was a wise and trusted advisor to a king. One day, the king asked the Bodhisatta about distinguishing between friends and foes. This question arose after the king’s other advisors had slandered a man whom the king believed to be virtuous and good. The king was puzzled by how to determine who was truly a friend and who was a foe.

The Bodhisatta, with his great wisdom, explained to the king the qualities that distinguish a true friend from an enemy. He said:

• Foes do not greet you politely; they avoid honoring you and may even honor your enemies instead. They speak ill of you behind your back, despise those you hold dear, and do not keep secrets shared with them. Foes do not celebrate your successes or feel happy for your well-being. They may even rejoice when you experience misfortune, and they never share anything good with you. When you are in need or suffering, they offer no sympathy or help.
• True friends, on the other hand, behave quite differently. They greet you warmly and with respect. They support you and honor you in front of others, always standing by your side. Friends keep your secrets and trust you with theirs. They rejoice in your happiness, share in your successes, and offer help when you are suffering. A true friend is someone who cares for you in both good times and bad, offering not just material support but also emotional and moral encouragement.

The king was so impressed by the Bodhisatta’s explanation that he praised him highly for his wisdom. The teaching left a deep impression on the king, and he realized how to discern between true friends and false ones.

In the Lifetime of the Buddha:

In the Buddha’s time, the story of the Mittamitta Jataka was retold to explain a similar situation faced by a king. The king had a loyal courtier who was greatly favored for his helpfulness and wisdom. However, some of the other courtiers, feeling jealous of this man’s position, began to slander him, accusing him of wrongdoings.

Unsure of how to proceed, the king turned to the Buddha for guidance. The Buddha, recognizing that the king had previously pondered the same question, told him this very story as a reminder of how to identify friends and foes.

Through the story, the Buddha emphasized the importance of examining actions and intentions rather than being swayed by words or superficial appearances. A true friend shows their loyalty through consistent actions of kindness, respect, and support, while a foe will reveal their true nature through betrayal, false accusations, and selfish behavior.

The king in the Jataka was revealed to be an earlier birth of Ananda, one of the Buddha’s most revered disciples, who was known for his wisdom, compassion, and deep understanding of the Buddha’s teachings. The Buddha’s teaching on distinguishing friends from foes thus became a valuable lesson for his followers, as it showed that the signs of true friendship are actions rooted in moral virtue, and those who truly care for us will support and uplift us, even when the world turns against us.

Moral Reflection:

The Mittamitta Jataka teaches us the value of discernment in relationships. It highlights the fact that true friends are those who demonstrate their loyalty through consistent actions of kindness, respect, and empathy. They do not just speak words of friendship but show through their behavior that they truly care for us, both in our moments of success and in times of hardship.

On the other hand, foes often reveal their true nature by their actions, which are driven by jealousy, selfishness, or malice. They do not share in our joy, nor do they offer help or compassion when we face difficulties. The Bodhisatta’s explanation provides a timeless lesson: true friendship is not about words or superficial gestures, but about the depth of care and loyalty shown through consistent and selfless actions.

In both the past and the Buddha’s time, this wisdom proves essential in navigating the complexities of human relationships. It calls on us to be vigilant and to judge others based on their actions and behavior, not just their words or claims. By doing so, we can surround ourselves with people who genuinely care for us and avoid those who would bring harm or falsehood into our lives.

Final Takeaway:

The Mittamitta Jataka serves as a powerful reminder that the true measure of a friend or foe lies not in what is said, but in what is done. True friends support us in good times and bad, and their actions reflect their sincere care for our well-being. Foes, by contrast, reveal their true intentions through selfishness and deceit. By recognizing these qualities in others, we can cultivate meaningful, supportive relationships while avoiding the harm caused by insincere or malicious individuals.