The Donkey’s Love: A Tale of Pride and Regret

In a previous life, the Bodhisatta was a state horse to a king. His grooms regularly bathed him in the Ganges River, and during one such bath, a donkey happened to see him. The donkey instantly became infatuated with the horse to the point that she could neither eat nor drink, growing thin and ill from her unrequited love. Her son, seeing her condition, asked what was wrong. At first, the donkey was too ashamed to admit it, but eventually, she confessed her deep longing for the horse.

Her son, eager to help, promised to arrange a meeting between the two. The next time the Bodhisatta went to bathe in the river, the donkey’s son approached him. He explained the situation and asked the horse to meet his mother, believing it would restore her health. The Bodhisatta agreed, telling the son to have the donkey wait by the riverbank until he was finished bathing.

When the donkey arrived at the meeting spot, she tried to appear modest by acting reluctant. As the Bodhisatta approached and sniffed her, she kicked him, hoping to make it seem like she was not an easy conquest. However, the kick broke the horse’s jaw and caused significant injury. Hurt and unable to pursue her, the Bodhisatta left. The donkey, feeling deeply guilty, lay down in sorrow. When her son arrived and asked why she had behaved in such a way, she explained, “It’s just feminine nature.”

In the Lifetime of the Buddha

In the Buddha’s time, the donkey in this story was reborn as a beautiful woman who fell deeply in love with a handsome landowner at first sight. She became so lovesick that she stopped eating and spent all her time lying in bed, unable to do anything but think of him. Her friends and servants soon noticed her distress and, after some time, persuaded the landowner to meet her.

When he arrived, the woman was excited but, after some thought, decided that if she were too eager, she would lose her honor. So, in a bid to appear more dignified, she rejected him at the last moment, telling him to leave. The landowner, confused and disheartened, never returned, and the woman, devastated by her own actions, soon died from a broken heart.

When the landowner learned of her death, he went to the Buddha, bringing flowers and perfumes as offerings. He explained why he had stayed away from the woman, feeling guilty about what had happened. The Buddha then revealed that this woman’s behavior in this life mirrored her actions in the past, when she had been the lovesick donkey in the Bodhisatta’s previous life. Through this story, the Buddha illustrated the consequences of pride, indecision, and the inability to act with clarity and integrity in matters of love.

Moral of the Story

The Vatagga-Sindhava Jataka highlights the dangers of being controlled by desires, particularly in romantic relationships. The donkey’s behavior, driven by infatuation, leads to both her own suffering and the horse’s injury. Similarly, in the human rebirth, the woman’s pride and indecision cause her to lose the chance for happiness, ultimately leading to her demise.

The story serves as a cautionary tale about the consequences of letting ego, desire, and indecision rule one’s actions. It teaches that sometimes, trying too hard to maintain one’s dignity or honor can result in lost opportunities and suffering, as seen in both the donkey’s and the woman’s fates. The Buddha uses this story to demonstrate how attachment to fleeting desires, such as romantic infatuation, can lead to regret and sorrow when one’s actions are not aligned with wisdom and clear understanding.

The Buddha’s use of this tale also reflects his compassion in helping his disciples understand that their own desires, especially those that seem harmless at first, can lead to suffering when they are not tempered by wisdom.